Choices

I have been thinking today about choices. I recently read part of The Secret and it talks about kind of willing things to happen in your life. Today as I have pondered some thing a friend said to me about if I wanted it, I would make it happen, I began to think. I wonder how much of our lives are really all about choices. I have learned my whole life in church that we chose to come to Earth and have this life. I wonder how many things in our lives boil down to simply choosing it. I have often resented people saying "you just have to wake up and choose to be happy" I think this is maybe an oversimplification. Just choosing happiness isn't going to make it so, but what if that choosing to be happy has more of an impact. I firmly believe the only thing we can control about our circumstances is how we react to them, choosing what we'll do, think, or feel. Or rather how we will react to how we feel. So what if it's all about waking up and choosing happiness and then making an appointment to go get our hair cut the way we want it or setting a goal and working toward it. I have often wondered if little choices made along the way have changed the path I was supposed to be on drastically. Not to dwell on the what ifs, because really what good does that do, but rather to notice the long term effects of small things. What if I hadn't said yes to a job somewhere that led me somewhere else. That choice would have drastically altered my future and who I am. I hate when people say they didn't have a choice or they don't have a choice. There is always a choice sometimes we have to choose to do things we don't want to do, or sometimes the choices we make cause us to lose or miss out on something that is important to us. Choices are about prioritizing, is character more important than friendship, is keeping a promise more important than having fun. Is the happiness of someone else more important than our own? Someone put all of this into perspective for me. She told me that it is not uncommon for values to conflict at times. I often feel this. Sometimes doing what will make me happy will cause problems for others but I have to choose what is more important to me, which I value most at that time. We shouldn't always put others first but sometimes that's good to do. Sometimes we have to choose to do things we don't want to do because it's the right thing or we know we have to take that step. At times our choices aren't difficult or life altering. Some choices change who we are and others just help us get where we're going. Sometimes the choices and the actions that follow are simple and easy to do. Other times it's more difficult. Choosing happiness isn't going to be easy but I don't think I would ever look back after a long happy life and wish I would have made a better choice. Maybe fulfilling our destiny is just about making predictable choices, predicted by someone who knows us better than we know ourselves.

The BIG 8

My oldest turned 8 today. This time 8 years ago I was just out of recovery holding my first born. I almost want to cry thinking about it. She was a c-section after 16 hours of labor. It has been an amazing 8 years. She is the compass in our family. She always knows what is right and is constantly trying to do it. Not that she doesn't get into trouble, she causes her fair share of mayhem around here. She is our artist, our drama queen, and our giggly girl. I can't imagine our family without her. She is a great example and I am so proud of her.

I have finally become old. While grabbing lunch today I was frightened by the looks the local High school kids were sporting. The piercings, crazy hair, etc. I find myself thinking "no one will ever take them seriously" and "where are their parents" I remember my grandma saying those exact things. Seriously, is it just me or are there a bunch of mutants running around posing as high school students? Their parents honestly let them out of the house in that and looking like that. I remember some arguments against school uniforms were that kids would loose their self expression if they couldn't do it through clothes. What exactly is it they are trying to say? "I am lazy and just rolled out of bed and put on the first dirty thing I saw" "sorry this is not an important enough occasion to bother to put down my cell phone and pull a comb through my hair" "I forgot to put clothes on this morning" "Look at me!". In a way I think we have taught kids instead of using their brains to think of ways to express themselves we have allowed them to think that clothing and looks reflect who they are. In a world where we are constantly hearing how we shouldn't judge on looks, we shouldn't see color and we shouldn't discriminate. We are saying look on the inside, while also telling them it's all about what is on the outside. Reality is that people do see what is on the outside, you do send a message how you look. Fair or unfair people do judge, me included.

Sept. 11th

I meant to do this post yesterday but by the time I sat down to do it, it just wasn't going to sound the way I wanted it to.

I was so proud when my kids came home from school and their teachers had told them why we had flags out. I was so glad that they talked about it. I remember what was happening that day and the worry we had for friends in the DC area. I remember the overwhelming sadness associated with the images of the towers falling. I am proud to be an American. I am so grateful for the freedom I have to worship as I choose and to have the right to write this now. As I was watching the Olympics and heard all of the restrictions placed on the Chinese I felt sad for them. I am glad we have open information. I feel blessed we can speak our minds and take our government to task. I am thankful for a country with a long history of heroes who stood up for what was right. Starting with our founding fathers. Some were not popular for what they were doing but they pressed on with much opposition to provide us the freedoms we have now. There have been many from that time on that have had to fight to protect our rights. I am so grateful for those who gave all they had, some their lives that we all might have the freedoms we take for granted each day. Sept 11th reminded us what makes America great. It reminded us not to take anything for granted. That there is evil out there willing to do whatever they have to, to make us forget this is the greatest nation and we are truly blessed by God to be American.

I accidentally deleted Tuesday's post so Wednesday's doesn't make much sense. I'm kind of bummed that it got deleted because I don't have it in me to recreate it. I didn't even know it was gone until Breton pointed it out. Random thought coming tomorrow where maybe I'll recap.

Guess what I did?

I want to post pictures but I have to wait until I can give the whole effect because I just don't want to ruin it but.....I didn't watch TV tonight.
You'll have to stay tuned to find out all about it.

Misunderstood

I often open my big mouth and say what I am thinking. I have to be honest it gets me in a lot of trouble sometimes. I never really mean to offend people but sometimes I'm just not clear enough I guess. I forget that everyone else lives in a different mind set and they don't always follow my train of thought. The circumstances that have led me here have left me feeling relieved that I was able to fix a relationship but saddened too that I look bad. I know that shouldn't be important but to me character is important and I feel like my character was put up for questioning. Because I wasn't publicly cleared people still may think that I said something awful to another person. My comment was misunderstood, I have no way to get that back nor anyway to clear the air with those who have read the misunderstood take. I always try to tell my kids to be careful what they say because they can't get it back (poor example I am). I don't regret really saying what I did just that it was taken wrongly and it hurt someone who was already being hurt by unkindness. The lesson I seem to be learning over and over is that most major fall outs and problems come from misunderstandings. I am not sure if I will ever learn to be more effective at communication or more clear, but I hope I can learn to not be so quick to be offended by comments but rather listen more and ask more questions and try better to understand the other person. Before going public with anything give someone the opportunity to defend themselves or fix the problem. I think I've wasted too much time in my life being offended or sometimes looking for offense when it's not there. I think most of us have good intentions. So many times I hear my kids having disagreements and as the impartial listener what I find is that they are not listening to one another but are trying so hard to get their point out and make the other hear and see their side that they are not even listening to one another. Sometimes it makes me wonder about the larger things that are effected by not really listening. Do we march into battle ready to defend someone or something because we heard the wrong or partial version of the truth. Or more simply we jumped to the wrong conclusion. The bad thing is once it's out there we can't get it back because there is record of it somewhere even if it's just in someone's mind.

The things dads do.

I was sitting here in my corner minding my business in the family room when I witnessed this scene. My 3 year old was on the couch with my husband watching a movie and playing with barbies. From my vantage point (behind the couch) I watched her hand her Barbie and a wedding dress to her dad and ask "daddy, can you put this on her please?" I was a little curious how this would play out because those of you who know Breton know he's a big football looking guy. He took it from her and dressed the Barbie. I thought it was so funny, the things dad's do for little girls. Not to mention his big hands dressing the barbie. It's comical and cute at the same time. He's the best daddy.