SNOW

I got my wish. It has been snowing like mad, now if I could get feeling better we can enjoy sledding on the hill. My kids put on their snow clothes today after I am pretty sure I said no but they did it anyway, and after I said no I thought oh never mind if they go outside I can have some peace and quiet for a minute. This no TV until Christmas thing is more a punishment for me, but I think its working. They seem to be getting along better. I have caught them several times sitting on the couch reading to each other under a blanket, no kidding. I don't think I have done anything right there, but someone is doing a great job. They are still fighting though the evidence is in the gash on Braden's back courtesy of an upset Kaylee with a pen, just pointing out the little ray of sunshine. Didn't I say I wanted the school break? I am still looking for fun though. I got cord charts last night and my guitar tuned so I played a cord and realized I need to cut my fingernails to play.

My tree. I can't figure out how to change the direction and I should have used flash but anyway, I've just learned to put pictures on here

I am so excited

I am on the once a month posting plan.
I am really excited for Christmas. We just gave Breton's mom her birthday/Christmas present. I was so excited for it to come. I wish I could post it here but I think I'd be in trouble with copyright so I won't but we had these pictures taken of the kids in nativity costumes. They turned out so great and she loved it.
My Christmas presents will be somewhat of a let down because I already know what I am getting and I have already played with it. I am fulfilling a later in life goal of learning to play the guitar. But it's not the gifts for me that make me excited its the gifts I have made for others. I can't wait to give my sister in law her present I worked hard on it and I love what I made her. I don't think she reads this but she might so I will try to post later. I'll have to have Kami help me learn to put pictures on this thing. I am excited for the break from school. I know this one sounds so weird but last year we had so much fun sledding and playing in the snow. I am hoping that we get more snow to make it fun this year. I enjoy not having to do homework and getting to sleep in (hahaha) ok so maybe just a more relaxed pace than usual.
I am just grateful for this time of year and all that it means. I am grateful for second chances and for the Savior in my life.

Wow

The last post was before the election so it's been awhile. Tonight I just wanted to be sappy, but I gotta hurry because he really wants me to get off the computer and spend time with him. When I wrote about being grateful for things when my husband read it he said I didn't include him. It's not because I am not grateful for him it's because I don't like to put certain things out there. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but here goes a little bit of that. I do appreciate him so much, he is wonderful. Thursday, I went to the midnight movie of Twilight, shout out to my cute friends who made me laugh my butt off the entire time, the verdict on the movie is still out for me but the night was so much fun and I am glad I got to go with such fun girls. Anyway, back to the husband. Not only did he offer to take me when it was coming out on our anniversary but he was all about watching the kids, he always is great about this, which I love. The next morning I was so tired, he got up with my kids, got them ready and off to school and took my three year old with him so that I could sleep. He is so wonderful and thoughtful. Even though he didn't get all that he wanted out of the deal, he still is amazing. I don't do what I feel about him justice with my words so I think I am stopping there, but I just wanted to make it public that I do love him and am very grateful to him.

ONE

I was just reading an e-mail sent to me to encourage voting. I wanted to continue the thought here.
I hear so many times people are unwilling to get involved because they don't think they can make a difference or get anything accomplished. As I think about all of the times I have been told "it doesn't matter YOU are not going to change it". I often felt discouraged and gave up. But, now think for a minute about history. Rosa Parks was one woman, she refused to sit at the back of the bus. Martin Luther King was one man, he influenced many and still inspires to this day with the example he set. Susan B. Anthony was one woman, she fought for women's rights. Throughout history change was brought about by one person. Supported by another, by another, by another. Thinking that one person cannot make a difference is a thought fostered by those who seek to oppress. If we all think we can't make a difference, we won't. If we think our vote doesn't count, it won't because we didn't cast it. If we decide we can't fight against evil, it will be allowed to prevail. Never believe that one cannot make a difference. It wasn't an easy task for anybody who has stood up against anything wrong. Many have given their lives and all they had, to bring about change and freedom. Sadly, too often we don't appreciate the sacrifices of those who have fought for us to have rights later. Sometimes we don't see the results of the fight right off. Many times we are unpopular or ridiculed. Many die without realizing their difference. Never stop standing up for right because it's hard. Never stop believing YOU can make a difference. Sometimes it just takes one to voice and opinion and others will gain courage to follow. An Islamic woman who fights against radical Islam Irshad Mangi said "Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is recognizing there are more important things than fear."

You make a difference, your vote matters, your voice counts, don't ever think otherwise. And "may God grant me the power to change the things I can, recognize what I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference." So go vote. And keep making a difference. Maybe that just means you help a neighbor in a small way this week.

I love fall because it means winter. I know it is so weird to say it but I love winter. I love snowstorms and sitting inside watching them. I like to drive in snow. I think winter is peaceful, for the most part. The only thing is I am feeling so busy this fall. I don't really know why but it seems that the prelude to the holidays is just as busy. Maybe it's all of the family birthdays and this year blessings and baptisms put into the mix. With all of the craziness I am feeling the need to simplify everything. I am not sure why. The news of the world coming apart I think fuels this need (although I think most of it is just hype because of the election) I don't take enough time to focus on what is really important. I get too wrapped up in the tasks of the day and forget to enjoy it and the things the kids do. Life is meant to be a journey and I find I don't take enough time to enjoy my blessings. So, to help me with this I am challenging myself to count my blessings.
1. children, this one is hard to enjoy sometimes
2. A home to live in.
3. A family
4. Friends
5. Means to provide the nessesities
6. I live in a country where I enjoy freedoms
7. I can pray to my God whenever I want
8. I can teach my children the gospel
9. I can stay home with my kids
10. I can choose what I would like to do with my life.

Ok, so now you post yours.

It has been a fantastic weekend. My daughter was baptized and I was able to spend some time with my family.

I am so proud of my daughter. Her baptism was something special and I am so proud of her choices, she told me she felt clean. It was a wonderful day and experience. I hope she will always remember the day and how she felt and reflect on it often.

My sister and her boyfriend came for the occasion. I can't say how grateful I am to her for making the trip it really meant a lot to me and to my daughter. She braved the snow storm. It was so fun hanging out with them and meeting her boyfriend. We laughed pretty hard and had a good time. I only wish she lived closer and I could spend more time with her more often. I have missed her as we haven't seen each other in awhile. Hopefully we'll get together again soon.

lots to read enjoy

I cleaned out the draft box because I haven't had time to blog in awhile so I hope you enjoy more random thoughts.

Bucket list

This post stemmed from another that went in several directions, so in an effort to simplify I am posting separate.
Things I have always wanted to do, some I have and some I have yet to do.

• I took a stained glass class, it was fun, my final project was never finished and the pieces of it were smashed when my friend was in a car accident bringing it to me. I guess that was not meant to be.
• I want to take a photography class and get into changing the settings ( I could make it a business =) seems like everyone is doing it these days)
• I want to learn to play the guitar, maybe I'll write some songs. I could move my family to Nashville or New York and try to make it big in the music industry. OK maybe not but it would be fun to play the guitar.
• I want to travel to Hawaii, Ireland, and Europe. My dad served his mission in Australia and my Great grandpa served in New Zealand so I would like to visit those countries as well.
• Take gourmet cooking classes or make fabulous desserts for a bakery or upscale restaurant.
• Chocolate sculpture.
• I want to build cabinets.
• I want to physically help build my own house.
• I want to become an electrician.
• I want to work for a great and talented interior designer. I don't think I am cut out to have a business because I don't like the running of the business but the doing things.
• I want to live somewhere other than Utah. (or Idaho)

I am sure there are other things I would like to do and I am sure things change. What are some things you would like to do? (shamelessly trying to find out if I am talking to myself on this blog) Post your answers (I may make you some cookies or something (don't count on it but if it gets you to post ok)).

It's not typical for me to write things about general conference, for me it is what it is and I keep it to myself, but I was struck by President Monson's comments about finding joy in the journey. I am sure that is going to be the new phrase vinyled everywhere (maybe I need to start cutting today so I can be the first) I struggle with this everyday. Some days are better than others but I have been having a big struggle finding joy in the everyday. I have decided to make this post about the things I love but not in that cheesy way that I say I love my family, it's true but I'm not going there today.

I love architecture. I guess that's why my post high school education was in Architectural design (after the political science). When I was in high school I used to drive around neighborhoods with my friend Greg. We'd look at the houses and what we liked. When I went on vacations I would visit old historical houses. I take pictures of houses on vacation, perhaps that is weird. Houses are like the people that inhabit them. They have their own unique personalities. Some have peeling paint revealing the years of wear, adding to their personality and charm. Some have a unique history. Some were built by someone amazing. It's sad that we have lost that workmanship and have started building cookie cutter houses. That is a metaphor I can explore more another day.

I like nature. I am not a big camper because I like amenities, but I always enjoy the peaceful quiet of the canyon. The roar of water crashing over rocks in a hurry to get down stream.

I love people. I have always enjoyed visiting with people. When I was a little girl I lived in an older neighborhood. All of my neighbors were as old as my grandparents. I also had a paper route. Every month I would go collect for the paper and visit the older folks in town. Usually I was accompanied by my grandma. I would have to wait while they found checkbooks and wrote out the check and while I was waiting we'd visit. I got to know a lot of the older generation in my town this way. I came to love many of them. Brother Edis Taggart was one of my favorites along with his wife. Some others were the Lane's next door, Buzz & Gwen, Alma & Dorthy, Mr. Rogers, George Williams, Luella & the Durrants. Most of them I could count on for a treat. The lane's lived next door and we all knew we could visit for awhile and be sent home with a bag of red vines and that mix that was like boston baked beans, I have never really liked either of those much so I am not sure why I thought that was the place to go for treats but I enjoyed visiting. Some of them had health problems and were hard of hearing but I enjoyed their company.

I love creating. I don't think I am that good at it but I like doing it. I make something and years later somebody always does a better job than I did. But I enjoy doing it most days. i like the feeling of accomplishment when I have made something. This is why I want to build things.

I have always wanted to try a bunch of different things. I took a stained glass class once. I have always wanted to try pottery, in depth photography, learn to play the guitar, become an electrician. I'll do another post about this one.

I like to travel and see other places. I sometimes pretend I live somewhere else.

This is the start. I hope if I focus on positive things I can find joy in the journey. But more than joy I hope life becomes a journey. I hope I take the time to make the most of it and truly learn from life rather than getting caught up in the mundane tasks here in this life that seem to never end and draw me in. A journey begins with a single step, or something like that.

Choices

I have been thinking today about choices. I recently read part of The Secret and it talks about kind of willing things to happen in your life. Today as I have pondered some thing a friend said to me about if I wanted it, I would make it happen, I began to think. I wonder how much of our lives are really all about choices. I have learned my whole life in church that we chose to come to Earth and have this life. I wonder how many things in our lives boil down to simply choosing it. I have often resented people saying "you just have to wake up and choose to be happy" I think this is maybe an oversimplification. Just choosing happiness isn't going to make it so, but what if that choosing to be happy has more of an impact. I firmly believe the only thing we can control about our circumstances is how we react to them, choosing what we'll do, think, or feel. Or rather how we will react to how we feel. So what if it's all about waking up and choosing happiness and then making an appointment to go get our hair cut the way we want it or setting a goal and working toward it. I have often wondered if little choices made along the way have changed the path I was supposed to be on drastically. Not to dwell on the what ifs, because really what good does that do, but rather to notice the long term effects of small things. What if I hadn't said yes to a job somewhere that led me somewhere else. That choice would have drastically altered my future and who I am. I hate when people say they didn't have a choice or they don't have a choice. There is always a choice sometimes we have to choose to do things we don't want to do, or sometimes the choices we make cause us to lose or miss out on something that is important to us. Choices are about prioritizing, is character more important than friendship, is keeping a promise more important than having fun. Is the happiness of someone else more important than our own? Someone put all of this into perspective for me. She told me that it is not uncommon for values to conflict at times. I often feel this. Sometimes doing what will make me happy will cause problems for others but I have to choose what is more important to me, which I value most at that time. We shouldn't always put others first but sometimes that's good to do. Sometimes we have to choose to do things we don't want to do because it's the right thing or we know we have to take that step. At times our choices aren't difficult or life altering. Some choices change who we are and others just help us get where we're going. Sometimes the choices and the actions that follow are simple and easy to do. Other times it's more difficult. Choosing happiness isn't going to be easy but I don't think I would ever look back after a long happy life and wish I would have made a better choice. Maybe fulfilling our destiny is just about making predictable choices, predicted by someone who knows us better than we know ourselves.

The BIG 8

My oldest turned 8 today. This time 8 years ago I was just out of recovery holding my first born. I almost want to cry thinking about it. She was a c-section after 16 hours of labor. It has been an amazing 8 years. She is the compass in our family. She always knows what is right and is constantly trying to do it. Not that she doesn't get into trouble, she causes her fair share of mayhem around here. She is our artist, our drama queen, and our giggly girl. I can't imagine our family without her. She is a great example and I am so proud of her.

I have finally become old. While grabbing lunch today I was frightened by the looks the local High school kids were sporting. The piercings, crazy hair, etc. I find myself thinking "no one will ever take them seriously" and "where are their parents" I remember my grandma saying those exact things. Seriously, is it just me or are there a bunch of mutants running around posing as high school students? Their parents honestly let them out of the house in that and looking like that. I remember some arguments against school uniforms were that kids would loose their self expression if they couldn't do it through clothes. What exactly is it they are trying to say? "I am lazy and just rolled out of bed and put on the first dirty thing I saw" "sorry this is not an important enough occasion to bother to put down my cell phone and pull a comb through my hair" "I forgot to put clothes on this morning" "Look at me!". In a way I think we have taught kids instead of using their brains to think of ways to express themselves we have allowed them to think that clothing and looks reflect who they are. In a world where we are constantly hearing how we shouldn't judge on looks, we shouldn't see color and we shouldn't discriminate. We are saying look on the inside, while also telling them it's all about what is on the outside. Reality is that people do see what is on the outside, you do send a message how you look. Fair or unfair people do judge, me included.

Sept. 11th

I meant to do this post yesterday but by the time I sat down to do it, it just wasn't going to sound the way I wanted it to.

I was so proud when my kids came home from school and their teachers had told them why we had flags out. I was so glad that they talked about it. I remember what was happening that day and the worry we had for friends in the DC area. I remember the overwhelming sadness associated with the images of the towers falling. I am proud to be an American. I am so grateful for the freedom I have to worship as I choose and to have the right to write this now. As I was watching the Olympics and heard all of the restrictions placed on the Chinese I felt sad for them. I am glad we have open information. I feel blessed we can speak our minds and take our government to task. I am thankful for a country with a long history of heroes who stood up for what was right. Starting with our founding fathers. Some were not popular for what they were doing but they pressed on with much opposition to provide us the freedoms we have now. There have been many from that time on that have had to fight to protect our rights. I am so grateful for those who gave all they had, some their lives that we all might have the freedoms we take for granted each day. Sept 11th reminded us what makes America great. It reminded us not to take anything for granted. That there is evil out there willing to do whatever they have to, to make us forget this is the greatest nation and we are truly blessed by God to be American.

I accidentally deleted Tuesday's post so Wednesday's doesn't make much sense. I'm kind of bummed that it got deleted because I don't have it in me to recreate it. I didn't even know it was gone until Breton pointed it out. Random thought coming tomorrow where maybe I'll recap.

Guess what I did?

I want to post pictures but I have to wait until I can give the whole effect because I just don't want to ruin it but.....I didn't watch TV tonight.
You'll have to stay tuned to find out all about it.

Misunderstood

I often open my big mouth and say what I am thinking. I have to be honest it gets me in a lot of trouble sometimes. I never really mean to offend people but sometimes I'm just not clear enough I guess. I forget that everyone else lives in a different mind set and they don't always follow my train of thought. The circumstances that have led me here have left me feeling relieved that I was able to fix a relationship but saddened too that I look bad. I know that shouldn't be important but to me character is important and I feel like my character was put up for questioning. Because I wasn't publicly cleared people still may think that I said something awful to another person. My comment was misunderstood, I have no way to get that back nor anyway to clear the air with those who have read the misunderstood take. I always try to tell my kids to be careful what they say because they can't get it back (poor example I am). I don't regret really saying what I did just that it was taken wrongly and it hurt someone who was already being hurt by unkindness. The lesson I seem to be learning over and over is that most major fall outs and problems come from misunderstandings. I am not sure if I will ever learn to be more effective at communication or more clear, but I hope I can learn to not be so quick to be offended by comments but rather listen more and ask more questions and try better to understand the other person. Before going public with anything give someone the opportunity to defend themselves or fix the problem. I think I've wasted too much time in my life being offended or sometimes looking for offense when it's not there. I think most of us have good intentions. So many times I hear my kids having disagreements and as the impartial listener what I find is that they are not listening to one another but are trying so hard to get their point out and make the other hear and see their side that they are not even listening to one another. Sometimes it makes me wonder about the larger things that are effected by not really listening. Do we march into battle ready to defend someone or something because we heard the wrong or partial version of the truth. Or more simply we jumped to the wrong conclusion. The bad thing is once it's out there we can't get it back because there is record of it somewhere even if it's just in someone's mind.

The things dads do.

I was sitting here in my corner minding my business in the family room when I witnessed this scene. My 3 year old was on the couch with my husband watching a movie and playing with barbies. From my vantage point (behind the couch) I watched her hand her Barbie and a wedding dress to her dad and ask "daddy, can you put this on her please?" I was a little curious how this would play out because those of you who know Breton know he's a big football looking guy. He took it from her and dressed the Barbie. I thought it was so funny, the things dad's do for little girls. Not to mention his big hands dressing the barbie. It's comical and cute at the same time. He's the best daddy.

Maybe, one day

I'll get pictures on here sometime. It takes me awhile though. I have a loner camera from my mom, mine got stolen or lost in Salt Lake, I set it down and it was gone. So, now I have camera I don't like to use at all. One day we'll buy a new one, but for now I am getting along. So, one day maybe there will be pictures on here but until then, well, you'll have to use your imagination.

Yesterday I spent a little time on a post about all the time I wasted on the computer and got nothing else accomplished. Well, I went to post and it went haywire and I had already wasted enough time that I just let it go where all those dead emails went.



Today is all about innovation.

My attempts at pictures failed so, I'll just do without. If you are my neighbor you are probably wondering about all the cans in my driveway. It turns out, I too, was wondering the same thing. I have looked into the mystery and found out this: Braden, my innovative son, loves anything motored. He is always making motor sounds while driving trucks on the floor or while riding his bike. Well my friends, he found a way to save his voice. It seems if you run over a can with your bicycle it sounds like a motorcycle. Who knew! and how they came to this conclusion I'll never know.

My children are claiming, now that they have to pick all the cans up, that they were just helping dad smash them all. I don't know if they think this will get them out of picking them up or keep them out of trouble. I found it amusing.



On a political note. Yeah for McCain for picking a fabulous running mate, maybe now I can vote for you.

A day late

Grateful

I've been thinking a lot lately about all those times when people were there for me. Sometimes random people sometimes people I know. It's always like an answer to prayers. There have been times when these moments are the times I am about to cry because I don't know what to do next and someone will come up and ask me if I need something and proceed to help me. There is one day I remember that a bunch of totally random people helped me and I was really in need of it. I was all alone and far from home. I haven't seen any of them since and I never had a chance to tell them how much I appreciated their help. I probably won't get that chance ever, but I am grateful just the same. I wonder if these people, ten years later, have given their deeds another thought. While I have thought about it a lot over the last ten years.
I also have been blessed with fabulous friends that seem to always be there when I need them. I hope you know who you are, but if you are reading this you probably are one of them. Most of the time you were just my shoulder to cry on (we all know I can cry and obsess). You didn't judge or criticize you have just been my friend. I just wanted to let everyone know I think of your acts often. I appreciate you all, you have been my angels and answers to my prayers.
I wonder how many times we do the ordinary, and it is the extraordinary to someone else. How quickly we discount our importance to others because we don't see the good we do and are.
Thank you all. Now go and do something great, or maybe just tell someone you appreciate them.

...And here I am

So I took the plunge. I think it is all due to peer pressure and my need to fit in. So I'm blogging like the rest of the world as if I have nothing better to do with myself.



Don't expect literary greatness, or anything truely great, just random thoughts. I have a lot. We'll see how it goes.